THE shadows of evening lay heavy and dense upon the amalgamating city. Passing the huge outer portal, which opened to the west, we were soon traversing a spacious street, here and there illuminated by the light issuing from windows on either side. All was life and bustle, and there were novelties,—but let them come in turn, for it were impossible to describe them all now, without great detriment to the progress of the narrative.

  After passing several streets brilliantly illumined, and fraught with a continual din, we arrived at a huge building, which the towering steeple and other accompaniments proclaimed a church. A splendid lamp illumined the steps, which were of stone; the outer door was a-jar, from which a light burst, showing it to be occupied.

  We proceeded up the steps, and were soon through the door. My companions, whispering an apology, disappeared among the multitude crowding in (the church was full.) I obtained a seat in one of the lateral slips. The organ was just expiring on a soul-soothing and soul-melting note as I entered. A breathless silence pervaded the assembly—a spirit, soft, mollifying, seemed to brood over it. The inexpressible strain was still in my ear, when the intended preacher, a man with an attractive aspect, arose. He was a man, however, whose attractions, after the first inspection, were rather of a disagreeable character than otherwise. His eyes were keen and quick; his forehead low, receding over which straggled a few locks of thin lightish gray hair, which infused into his countenance a sage and venerable expression, though the tenor of his homily, and the style in which it was delivered, abrogated the expression.

  On looking at the preacher, my eyes naturally fell upon two pulpits constructed on either side of the one belonging to that individual. They were smaller, however, and decked off in gairish style. They had a great deal of red disposed about their sides, especially the one in which was a monstrous black lady, the minister's spouse, who, adorned with much finery, sat like a princess of Chiam, a spectacle to the whole assembly, fanning herself with a broad palm leaf, with which she endeavored to stay the perspiration that was rolling from her in rivers.

  The other pulpit had his offspring—a beautiful little flock, eight in number, and all scrambling about the cushions, or thrusting their dusky brows over the fringed border. They looked pretty—but, alas! not so pretty as they would have been had that infernal shade not been mixed with their otherwise fair and spotless cheeks. There was an olivaster hue blended with the blood, which tainted their loveliness. Poor nature—abused, caricatured nature! These pulpits were constructed , I afterwards learned, for the purpose of proving to the world, that he (the preacher) broached not tenets without supporting them by his practice.

  There was another novelty also, which I must not forget. It was a curious contrivance constructed between husband and wife. It resembled, I know not what; it was perfectly original. It seemed composed of fans and little vials, ingeniously intermingled. It whizzed round seemingly by a perpetual motion power, and with amazing swiftness: its object being to protect the husband from those disagreeable evaporations exhaling from the odoriferous spouse, which it did by fanning off the offensive air, and at the same time dispensing, by means of the vials, a delightsome perfume.

  On looking round I discovered the same contrivance affixed to all the pulpits in the church. They were constructed between the husband and wife, protecting the former from offensive exhalations, and were buzzing like so many spinning wheels.

  These novel whirligigs were, doubtless, of incalcuable value; for the house, thronged as it was with a mixed multitude of all colours, must have been absolutely untenable, especially of a hot evening, without them. As it was, I occasionally witnessed a proof of this. The doors as well as windows were all open; so that fresh atmosphere had ingress, and the consequence was, whenever a blast entered, it disturbed the dissimilar airs in the apartment, and as the foul air was generally the most powerful, a dreadful hubbub would instantly occur until expelled through the opposite windows and doors, when the wholesome air would again predominant, and peace reign again.

  "Behold!" exclaimed he, with an energetic wave of the hand, and a fierce glance across the church, "what a change has taken place in the condition of the black man within a half century? Look back for one moment to the time when General Jackson sat in the presidential chair. How was the black man then? Buried in gloomy ignorance! manacled, abused! Now, he is free, he is blessed, he is happy! O what a doom awaits all those who, despising philanthropy and the noble example set them by us, still adhere to the hell-brewed traffic. Their doom is written; their habitation will hereafter

  "I am astonished that any of you, my friends, should be discontented. What is there we have, that you have not! You are admitted to the same privileges, the same society. Your pew, instead of being tucked away, as formerly, in one corner of the church, with the label, COLOURED PEOPLE, on it, is in our very midst. We are all intermingled, without regard to colour or character. At our board you are served from the same dish; your daughters are permitted to cohabit with us; your children are treated with decorum. What offices in the government does the white man hold, to which the black man is not equally eligible? Is there a man of you, who will not admit, that wherever and whenever the white man has acquired unwonted honours, the black man was admissible to the same distinctions? Prejudices, by the ingenious invetions of great men, have been utterly baffled! What is there, then, my beloved Africans, to make you seditious?" * * * *

  At that moment a gust of offensive atmosphere assailed the orator's nostril, occasioning a hubbub in the nasal region. A lavender flask, which stood within reach, dispelled the grievance, when he continued.

  "It is a shame and disgrace to you, after all the toil and trouble undergone to bring you from a state of degradation and oppression to where you

  "But let me warn you in particular not to lend an ear to those headstrong railers, who, haunting the city, think to annul our blessed principles by their own abominable and hell-engendered tenets. However, this caution may be unnecessary. I hope it is. You behold, and have beheld, those principles in which you have been educated triumphant over every obstacle." * * * * *

  He proceeded in this glowing strain for a quarter of an hour, when he came to a full stop. Wiping his forehead, which was wet with perspiration, he looked inquiringly round over the vast assembly, exclaiming—

  "Those individuals who desires initiation into our holy fraternity will now step forward."

  At this request two couples of individuals stepped into the broad aisle. They were my late acquaintances—those who accompanied me into the city. At the same time a dreadful vomiting arose near by. Several individuals instantly started up; with much difficulty I discovered the culprit through a crowd which encircled him. Cologne bottles flourished about his nose, but without effect, when he was seized by a few individuals present, and hurried out of the church, the vomit flying on all around.

   This shameless wight, I afterwards learned, was one who had lately wedded a negress; his stomach, too wise to be bamboozled into such mongrel principles, sought every possible occasion to vent its vile humour, which it did, alas! to the credit of the scandalized groom, too often.

  He disappeared, and the solemn words of the preacher addressing the novices, again broke upon my ear.

  "My friends," he said, with an animated look, "I rejoice to behold you here; your presence is an overwhelming argument in our favour. It shows uncontestably that our blessed principles are becoming prevalent; that the land is awakening; that truth is triumphant. I hope you will remain steadfast in the cause you have espoused, and show yourselves genuine despisers of all prejudice. You are aware, I presume, Mr. Hoffle, that there is something within you, which repels you from Miss Sincopy, which is a prejudice; and a horrible crime; and which it is our benign purpose to annihilate. We have a process denominated "BOILING," which effects this; it is delightful process, dissipating every heinous feeling; after which comes "PERFUMING," another operation equally agreeable, and of as much consequence. Deacon," turning to an obese man, who stood near hard by, "lead the way, if you please, to the 'GREAT BOILER.'"

  At these words, the official commanded, moved forward, and a door in the dark chancel being

"THE GREAT BOILER."

  Under this, in tinier type, was the subjoined:

  "This boiler is intended for all those whose antipathy to the black man does nor forbid a willingness to be amagamated."

  In the gloomy distance were others, but so obscured by overhanging smoke as to be nearly illegible. After some difficulty, however, I succeeded in deciphering the following:—"INFANTS"—"OLD MAIDS"—"OLD BACHELORS," which were engraved upon the murky front of walls, whose black bulk protruded inward more or less, overshadowed by dense volumes of smoke, which, ascending from within, lowered over them in convolving folds. On these walls were also other mementos in smaller letters, and of a more particular character.

  "This boiler is intended for all those, whose antipathy to the black man has become so inveterate as to defy the power of the GREAT BOILER."

  A little further on, in gilt type, was the subjoined:

  "This kettle is of singular virtue, being invented by the famous *****, for the purpose of boiling all those, who may have slandered or abused in any manner, the holy blessed tenets of amalgamation."

  On the summit of this wall was a gigantic negro and white lady, in massive sculpture work, locked in each other's fond embrace.

  I was busily employed in gazing at and examining these various novelties, when the clattering of a door in the partition, enclosing the great boiler, arrested my attention. On looking towards it, I beheld a flight of stairs leading upward to the summit of the kettle; and the party who accompanied me at that moment ascending them. I followed, and the next minute stood with them on an elevated platform, overlooking a most wonderful scene.

  As far as the eye reached, appeared nothing but black copper kettles, of tremendous size, arranged in vast phalanx, and emitting fold on fold of a white soft smoke. An outrageous uproar assailed

  I was wondering what this could mean, when I heard the voice of Wildfire, the principal who accompanied us, conversing with the initiates; approaching him, I received the following information:

  "That monster!" and he pointed, as he spoke, to the grim giant, striding to and fro, flourishing his cat-o'nine-tails, "is the Goddess, Enthusiasm. She is the mistress of this daedal establishment. By her, it was founded, by her supported, by her superintended. Those labourers are her votaries. Those mills decoct or prepare a certain drug or spirit, yclept Enthusiasm, while those bright pipes convey the spirit to the kettles. Now, the object of boiling is as follows," stepping up close to the eager auditors, and speaking earnestly,—"This prejudice, of which I have so frequently

  At those words, the principal ascending a pair of steps close by, established himself by the famous mill. The novitiates, after much hesitancy and sheepish looks, placed themselves within the copper caldron.

  The eager priest then began to work, and such horrid noise I never before heard. The mill flew like wildfire, but to no purpose, till the monster god, mentioned, striding up, commenced flogging the votary with his knotted scourge. Then, in voluminous folds, the gushing smoke enveloped the clattering mill, rolling round the votary, who was all in a glow; the perspiration bedewing his brow; his eyes flashing a pale light. The mill roared like bedlam! I looked at the pipe. A soft liquid oozed into the kettle. It was a peculiar kind. It resembled foam on beer; it was all life, but less substance. No sooner did it emerge than, expanding, it filled the whole kettle with a spray like vapour. But it operated very singularly. Commencing at the toes it worked upward, engrossing the brain.

  But let us, complaisant reader, digress a little in

  In man's primeval state, these troublesome barons were in quiet subjection to the executive authority, but becoming corrupt, they spread universal confusion through the realm.

  As it is, however, whenever, the lineal heirs of the throne predominate, there is always a certainty of peace, prosperity and happiness through the empire, for they, discountenancing all corrupt and wicked lordlings, honour gentle-souled and high minded princes, such as sympathy, benevolence, kindness, adoration, christianity, meekness, tenderness, mildness, love and others of like tempers.

  Now, enthusiasm has her foul minion in every human heart, and it is her malignant purpose if possible, to invest her with the supreme power over that dominion. For this purpose, she invented those outlandish machines in the amalgamating establishment for the purpose of brewing a sort of liquor which should fuddle or make drunk, Judgement

  All was rupture of course, in the persons of the initiates; their prejudices vanished or seemed to, and urging close up they evinced a powerful inclination to be amorous, while boisterous smacks echoed amid the encompassing smoke, it was a wondrous courtship! The goddess redoubled her castigations upon the votary; the votary redoubled his exertions at the machine, and of course the novitiates redoubled their dalliance upon each other.

  But the mad spirit did not stop here; every thing in the room seemed bewitched, chairs, tables, and kettles were all frisking and capering; a magnificent cartoon hanging against the wall, began suddenly to flutter, bend and convolve, as though enlivened, and two menials carrying articles to their master, stopping abruptly, began to dance and curvet, and at length one incited by a fonder spirit rushed down into a kettle and seized upon a blooming miss there boiling. Then arose a dreadful fight. The lady's amoroso (for what knight would witness, with unfired blood his lady love borne off as a prize) instantly grappled with him; squeezed in each other's iron grip they rolled along the bottom of the kettle, their craniums ringing against the hard copper; blow followed blow;

  The infernal mania soon seized upon me; a queer sensation commenced in my big toe, then in all of my toes, then in my limbs, in my body, and finally in my brain; my muscles contracted and in spite of me I began to dance, all sorts of figures, which soon metamorphosed into an Indian pow wow which I maintained for the space of two hours, when the weary labourers ceasing the mania subsided. I now expected a grave homily upon fisty cuffing and scuffling, but was disappointed. The combat being loudly applauded by all present as a powerful argument in favour of amalgamation, for what wight would fight for a coal black damsel unless sincerely attached to her, and if so, that attachment had been created by boiling.

  "Blessed process," cried Wildfire enthusiastically, descending from his sublime avocations, "thou art the almoner of blessedness; my noble proselytes there is a crown burnished bright for you in heaven, you have proved incontrovertibly,

"PERFUMERY."