IT am a 'stablished fact in de skience ob coonology, dat de coon an' de moon hab possumtibely a telumgraphic connection, t'rou which, by a single wink ob de count'nance, it receibes a charm from de lunaries, an' luminatious orb, which kind ob makes de animal invulgerable an' imprevious to de penestratib powers ob de bullet, de buck-shot, an' de nigga's heel, dat is, so long as dey can cast one eye 'pon de moon. It am only a little 'fore since, at 'bout night's sofe noon, I treed a coon by de light ob de moon, an' t'ought I'd soon play him de tune to which de ancient cow expired into dissolution. So I opened de powder banjo, an' wibrated on him; but he only looked at de moon wid his face, an' I missed him all ober. I fired six times, an' I missed him in de mouf, in de stomach, in de 'gestion, in de head, an' in de region catamount to dat; at last bein' conwinced ob de luminar cooner relative. I jist persuaded his face in anoder dejection, an' 'mediately let shoot, an' by golley I had him all ober. Whar' I missed him afore; he turned up his eye, wink at de moon wid his tail, but it was too protracted in de season, for a cloud cum ober de moon. It wus too protracted in de season, for a cloud cum ober de moon. It was sartain coon-set, an' he suspired widout a breaf."

  I NEBBER shall begin to go for to forget de time when Bill Ball-heel an' Joe Gingerless stole some whiskey from de stillhouse by suckin' it through two straws; an' some milk from de ole cow, by drawen it out in de nat'ral way; an' den carried it out in de ole ryefield, to make punch, to wash down a stolen luncheon. Arter dey had got all safe into de fiel', so dat nobody at neider de winder nor de house-chimbley could see dem, Ballheel took an' coaxed some 'lasses out ob a sugar-cane stalk, an' stirred up de punch till de froth stuck up in bubbles big as a nigger's eye; an' dey danced an' yelled round it, licken dar lips like black snakes' tongues winken at a a toad; an' dey did it all to dis tune.

  An' jist as dey were walken into it, a big hairy beary looken animal walked into dem, an' de way dey shivered, shouted, an' shot off, was about as if dey had got de punch, ob ole Nick. But it was no oder debbil dan Sam Swaller, drest in a wild puss skin; an ' de way he swallered up dat punch, was equal to a gin-gine suction pump.

  STEAM am a purty strong chap when he gets his passion riz, an' gunpowder an' a little samer; 'lectricity am wery striken, an' glawanism purty tall. Faith can shoulder a mountain, standin' on 'nother; but, music, all smash, all perwaden an' persauden love, am jist as much stronger dan eberyt'ing else, as a bullephant am stronger dan a billy-goat. De great African poet Obid, in his "Art ob Lub," book de twentyscbenth, say it am de great art, dat all arts are arter. But music is natur', an' natur' am jist as far superior to art, as de sun am to a shipwrecked sunshade. You may scold a gal; you may scare her to death, an' den starve her arterwards; you may talk to her, an' persuade her on your knees, till de flesh wants patchen, an' she may be coold as salted ice an' water; but jist tickle her a mile off wid a bango-string, twenty words ob a song, an' galwanize her heart, as a cat fassagenates a catbird, an' she walks right into you, done overan' obercome, an' as submissive as a sucken kitten, jist de same as dat wench in de dang-niggertype.—Look.

  TRUE-BLOODED an' breeded nigga's hate dog-ketchers as bad as dey hate cold wedder, when de freezeomter am down. Now, de way dat my forty-lebenth cousin, Pomp Tucker, an' anoder color'd gemman took in a dog-ketcher, was worse dan sick lizards. De brack canine kidnapper had stole Deacon Tucker's dog, got de reward, an' den had him cooked up in de great dog-wasten house, along wid de rest ob de captive dogs' flesh. Well, when Deacon Tucker found it out, he axed Mr. Dog Kidnapper to a possum dinner. He took an' filled up his plate wid a separate part ob de warm wittals, an' de nigger's jaws went into it like a chopper into sassage-meat. But, ya! ya! ya! wa-oo-wa! White folks, jist as he was usen up de last part ob de trimmin's, an' opened his large gash to put it in, he discubbered dat he had been feasted on Deacon Tucker's kidnapped dog, an was jist conweyen de last part ob de fore paw into his wittal's hopper. Now, de Deacon had resurrectionized de animal, an' cooked him for dat very express 'casion. Ya! ya! ha! if dat wasn't a fore-paw, as de sayin' is, den dar didn't was one nebber.

  SOME ob our migratin' niggers t'ought dat dar was nuffin' else for 'em to tree in calyforny but de humannatur'-galwanizin' yaller pewter, called goold; an' dat, as soon as dey aribe in de Francisco bay, dey hab only to chuck down de boat-oar, an' den pick up de goold ore, jist de same as hogs root up corn, an' samer too. But, by de lor', Gust Gumbeel, Bone-Squash, Junior, an' Pete Punkin' was 'bout as much suck in as de hoss-fly, when he t'ought to li't 'pon a stone, an' dropt right into de mouf ob a hop-toad. Jist as soon as dey landed in de riber, dar mouf's begin to water to be on land; an' as soon as dey cum on de shore, dey didn't saw any goold, but dey foun' sich a large supply ob nuffin' to eat, dat dar gums cracked, like baked clay in a brick-yard; an' dey fasted so hard, dat dey had to git down on dar knees to stan' up. At las', Bone t'ought he seed a coon, an 'Pete t'ought he smelt a coon, de dog was so hungry dat he couldn't t'ought at all; but jist as dey started arter him dey started back, Bone says, "Pete, does you t'ink Californy coons hab feaders on?" "Ya, no," says Gus, "but dar Injuns hab." At dat moment, a ringnosed Injun, kivered wid his own native feaders, started up; an' de way dey dug out ob dem dar diggins, made de wind strike fire, an' dey hab never been a coon-huntin' in Californy afore since de las' time.

  "HA! ha! Wal for my part, Squire Stiff-Sturgeon, ob all de drinks for an aberage beverage, you mean, squire, precisely, ob all de drinks, I prefer de fluid water in a state ob nudity."

  "Sa, cool, nat'ral water am werry sanitary, but I rader prefers it purified an' filtered wid a little Agra Whitey, which dat renowned Richardsnary Samuel Jonsing, de double L. D., tre-nominates, French Brandy, as it sort a kind o' deludes de frizidity."

  "Dat am disclusibly correc', water in a state ob nudity, am a sanatroy aberage for fishes, boats, ships, an' oder piscatagorical inspec's, but human natur' am a scale above dat hetergenius, so he am, squire; an' hea's to do healf ob his dead antycestors."

  "De same—hunk an' drunk."

  "Ah! yes, belubed bred'ren, all am wanity an' wexation ob spirit, (aside,) when you can't get a drop ob 'em. We am all rollin' an' rollin' down into de dark walley ob deaf, same as de marge-rots rollin' off ob dead hoss. De hull 'arth an' natur' am one uniwersal rollin' machine; de 'arth rolls on its axle-tree, de swine rolls into de mire, de ginebriated rolls in de gutter, de sportsman rolls de billiards an' de ten-pin thunder ob iniquity, de constortioner an' spec'lator rolls in his wealf, same as de tumble-bug rolls his ball, sinners' tears am rollin' like glue from a gum-tree, an' all am rollin' into infimity an' etarnity, jist same as 'lasses down a leaky barrel. Bruderen, dis am no nig-gar-dley view ob de dark subjec'; for detime am cum, when all human natur', an' woman natur', am all takin' t'ings on dar own hook; but de debil baits em all, an' will try to hook all. But weep an' repent, an' you'll suck him in, jist as sure as a flyin' tadpole am transformed to a tree-frog."