EMPRESS EUGENIA'S MAIDS OF HONOR."Rumor tells us that two New York ladies, Mad. R., late Miss L., and Mrs. R., formerly Miss C., have been appointed dames d'honneur of the Empress Eugenia." CERTAINLY! it takes American gems to sparkle in foreign diadems. Now, my dears, stand up for your own country, and all its institutions, to your last gasp. Send over here for all your boots and bonnets. Tell them France is a villainous place, and you are never sure you are not eating a defunct frog in your fricassee; that here in America we all have our blessed little homes, full of love and sunlight, and don't go wandering round spending half our lives in a cafe, and the other half in a theatre. Tell them that all the proceeds from the sale of Uncle Tom's Cabin the authoress will devote to liberating and educating, and polishing up all the dark meat in slaverydom (?), and that the American women don't go stampedeing round the country in dickeys and broadcloth, vociferating for "Woman's Rights!" (?) Yes, and see you keep a stiff upper lip when that milk and water
Napoleon speaks to you, and give those little dapper Frenchmen fits
all round. Tell them they make
passable cavaliers; but it would take a whole nation of them, fed on frogs' legs, and sugar and water, to make one of our satisfactory, magnificent, American husbands. Say that our men are the handsomest, and the most gallant, and the bravest, and the best informed of any nation upon the face of the globe; that our babies are all born repeating "the Declaration of Independence;" and that our backs will be up quicker than the click of a musket, if things are not managed over there to suit our Bunker Hill notions. And now, good-by; toss your bonnets up in the air every time you see "the stars and stripes;" hiss at the "Marseilles Hymn," and clap your hands till they are blistered whenever our blessed "Yankee Doodle" strikes upon your ear. |